I always intend on doing a good if not great job, something that I can be proud of, or at least somewhat proud of by my standards. Something that comes out in the wash is not good enough for me, but something that is given a thorough treatment comes out better for ware. I don’t like to be so conscientious, as if conscientious is uncool, but I follow my instinct to add layers of polish. Isn’t this what writers are told to do? Yet I learnt this through experience.
At school, I was commended for being able to focus on my studies in the reality of a noisy classroom. But I think my teacher was really saying he was finding the modern-day classroom extremely challenging! His words were not as kind when I failed to impress on a matter of local history. Yet focusing makes me persevere on a project or task. Just carry through with the project until complete—no matter the environment. And so up to the present time, I try to get the job done with where ever my writing life leads me.
This is indeed a relief. There is a sense of relief when I decide on a course of action rather than doing everything at once, relief that I do not have to do everything in one go. But stick to the project at hand and later on tackle the new project.
We know that being decisive is about being decisive. There is no middle ground, there is no relenting or going back on your vows. I go through with it. But instead of going through with my many projects on the go, perhaps I should go through with one or two at a time. Under pressure with many on the go or going steady with one or two on the run? One or two on the run, I’d say.
Sometimes taking on too much means a writer must cut down somehow without the feeling of selling one’s self short. I know this myself. I have too many ideas of what I can write. The answer is in decision, as much as possible…To make a decision. How? It will come…
You’ll just know, it will become clear. The how’s, the when’s. The why’s. It will all fit in place. You’ve even made the decision before, you know, with those other ideas ten years ago. The new ideas will be used or discarded in much the same way. I speak to myself.