In any writer’s path, it may be good to ask one’s self some questions before one starts down a path of writing in a form. I don’t usually do this and I go in headlong and ask questions later. But a little reflection can be useful in understanding where one is at. I find a good think helpful, but also a dose of unwelcome reality.
I began asking myself are there any barriers to pursuing this form of writing I’m exploring? Would this be a strong enough reason not to pursue this form?
It may be disappointing to answer that honestly–because my ambition may outrun my acknowledgement of reality. There’s this tension between ‘going further’ and the reality of publishing in a certain form which puts me off.
However, there is a glimmer of hope to write in this form. It’s in certain genre of the form. Not my first choice of genre, though. Not my ideal one, but still very worthwhile.
But I am left with a sinking feeling: would have really liked to have done a certain thing, but for some reason didn’t want to go down that path. Or couldn’t, be that because of circumstances or belief.
This leaves a hole. And a look into the future that says, what could be, but couldn’t be.
Yet there are alternatives — perhaps not as attractive — maybe ‘second best’. For me, it would be nice to be in the limelight, in the best genre one hopes to write in, but the ‘other’ genre is still satisfying at many other levels. It expresses my core — and this is what matters to me. And life is more than one’s sense of what constitutes the feeling one has ‘made it’, however one sees that.